Heart Health!

I really can't complain about any of my classes this year. In fact, I might even say that I am spoiled this semester.

I had 2 classes canceled this week - one because my Wetlands teacher's wife had a medical emergency. When I got to his class today, he explained that his wife had symptoms of a heart attack and needed to go to the hospital, but she wasn't supposed to drive. He started going into detail about how she has high cholesterol due in part to too much salt in her diet. Then he started giving us tips on how to avoid food with high salt content. For example, canned vegetables... rinse them before you eat them!! The more you know.

I emailed Professor C a few weeks ago to ask his opinion on a certain supplement for Federal Income Tax. He wrote back saying, "Don't buy anything yet - I'm going to run out to Barnes & Noble and check out the supplements. I'll let you know." The next time I saw him in class he said he didn't see the supplement but he recommended some of the other books he saw. How freakin sweet.

Teachers can be really awesome sometimes, and I seem to have gotten lucky this spring. I hope I'm not punished next semester. Luckily I have someone on the inside that gives me tips about all the teachers so I don't see that happening. My one issue is that one course (Sales & Leases) is required, and so far I have only seen it taught by one professor. She happens to be my Contracts I professor whose class I despised. I am running out of time to take it so I just have my fingers crossed that it is offered with another professor in Fall 12!

Written Tuesday Feb 21

Here I am in my Wetlands Seminar again. Lordamercy this class is so mind-numbing. Everyone has a laptop; I wonder how many of them are also multi-tasking. I'm just not sure that any of the info that I am learning in this seminar is going to be relevant to my paper.

School & work together is starting to drag on me. I don't even have a 40 hour week, but it feels like it sometimes. Maybe it's winter depression!! Except that we didn't really have a winter, so maybe not.

I think I am just in a funk. I had a really crappy couple of weeks over winter break, and 3 of my friends died within 1 month of each other. It made me very introspective, as unexpected deaths are wont to do. I have a tendency to overanalyze things, including my own thoughts, which can lead to an endless cycle. I haven't been spending as much time on my school work as I should, and I can barely get out of bed before 7 am. Last semester I was up almost every day between 5 and 6 am, just to read before class. So this is tough, not having that time to review.

Anyway, on to some jokes. Only law students will get these jokes. GUFFAW! Jk I hate it when people say that crap. Of course I will use context to explain why my teacher is hilarious.

Tuesday, 2-14

Talking about his ex-wife & a tax code involving divorce:

My then wife, before we were doing 1041s.

Regarding a set of tools he was trying to sell at a garage sale & some dbag who told him no one would pay him more than $2 for it:

I took a sledgehammer & smashed it to hell, just so he couldn’t go home & tell his wife that he got me.

Draws a straight line with an arrow on the board:

I can immediately feel people tightening their chest bc they think I’m drawing a fee simple.

*Fee simple is a term from property class that relates to one of the most annoying #!$*ing sections in the history of law school 

Acknowledging that he hasn't passed around the attendance sheet for weeks:

Will you guys really get offended if I don’t pass around the attendance sheet?

*throws the sheet across the room*

I don’t give a crap if you don’t show up. This is the end of the line. This is the last time you will be happy to get less than you paid for.

Asking why banks would ever not act shady:

Why would Lindsay Lohan ever clean up her act? She’s been sentenced to jail 6 times & spent an hour there. Why would the banks ever clean up their act?

Tuesday 2-21

Talking about insurable interest (interest in keeping your spouse alive):

Not always the case. Otherwise where would TV mysteries be? What would the Mentalist do?

 

I left my heart in bed

So I've been bad this week. I've skipped some classes. I have been in a funky mood lately, and not the good kind. Last semester I would try to go to bed earlyish (before midnight) & wake up between 5 & 6 am, then do my reading for the day. I have been trying to continue this tradition, but for some reason no matter how early I get to bed, I can't physically drag myself out of bed until at least 7 am. Gah.

Most of my classes this semester require little preparation beforehand, but my Maritime Law class is the exception. I skipped my first class of the day to use the time to read for ML, but then some other bull crap happened at home that prevented me from reading at all. The house next door is being rehabbed & it has made my life hell for the past 8 months. Today someone was jack-hammering the sidewalk outside of my house, right outside of the window where I study. YIPPEE!

I did not get much work done.

Now I'm sitting in my Wetlands class and again, being bored out of my mind. My teacher is so nice and helpful, but this class is boring boring boring. The purpose of this class is to produce a 25 page paper by the end of the semester, on a topic of my choosing, so I am not sure what I'm going to get out of the class. We are just listening to him talk about wetlands regulations. Blah!

I'm actually looking forward to getting started on my paper though. My topic is "liability of oil companies, other businesses and/or governmental entities for damages for harm caused to Louisiana wetlands, under state tort law, the Oil Pollution Act of 1990 and/or federal maritime law" as a result of Hurricane Katrina & the BP Oil spill. I love New Orleans & this stuff affects them big-time down there, so I am really interested in writing about it.

I think for the rest of class I am going to work on my outlines for my other classes. It sounds terrible but if you were in this class, you would need to find some distraction too! I'm out.

Before I go, some gems from Professor C:

A student asks him to repeat something:
I told you when I'm making crap up, you can't ask me to repeat it.

Realizing we are almost out of time because he's been talking about Chapter 5 for so long:
Great, we have 10 minutes to do Chapter 6. Some people just don't know when to shut up.

Ciao!

Wetlands Seminar

Oh I loathe this class. It's not even bad at all, it's just so slooooow.

There are only 6 kids in this class and we sit at tables arranged in a rectangle. If it was like a dining room table, 4 people would sit on one long side, 1 person would sit across at the other long side, my teacher would be at the head of the table, and I would be at the other head of the table. So I sit directly across from my professor.

He is usually standing and reading off of the projector and what not so it's not like he is watching me, really. But last week I was nodding off - the kind where your head actually starts nodding - and I was having the hardest time trying to wake up. That happened to me again this morning in my Tax class and it was almost a disaster. I am trying to cut back on caffeine so I didn't have any coffee today. That may have been a mistake.

Some more funny stuff my Tax teacher said:

Put a big X thru this page and write DFU. Don’t..... don’t use.

Who’s from Pittsburgh? (silence) I didn’t say FOR I said from.

Kodak management should be taken out and shot.

Did you ever see those jerky commercials? Sasquatch.. is a synonym for IRS. Don’t mess with IRS. Bigfoot.

Employers CANNOT make gifts to employees, but you can bribe your boss. M&Ms work.

More from Professor C

Just some quick quotes I jotted down from my Tax class last Thursday.

Things everyone lies about:

"Everybody lies about 2 things in their life. Well maybe more. But only 2 I can talk about in here. One of them if your golf handicap. 'I’m a 2 handicap.' You were a 2 at the 3^rd hole! Then you dislie at tournament time. 'I’m an 18!'"

Reminding us about a character in a story he's about to tell:

"Remember that guy I told you about who taught at MD who wrote on the smart board with the marker? That’s him. He doesn’t work there anymore."

Telling a story about how he demonstrating how a friend's financial decisions were losing him money:

"Come up with me to the men’s restroom. Now give me a dollar...I flushed it down the toilet."

His thoughts on tax deductions:

"Deductions are not good. Theyre better than a jab in the eye with a sharp stick but cmon."

Deductions for charitable donations & how they didn't save you as much money in the 80's so you better just be happy being charitable:

"You’ve gotta want the warm feeling. Well put a Sterno under you and warm it up a little more."

Bankruptcy:

"Back in 1981 when Reagan was president, Chrysler was going out of business. Wait, they’re still going out of business. Also, Twinkies are going bankrupt."

Federal Income Tax

That is one of the classes I chose to take this semester. Yes, chose. I needed a 3 credit course and that one fit my schedule.

I was really dreading this class, but after my first day I feel a little better about it. My professor (I'll call him Professor C for now) went over some basic ideas with us for most of the class. He gauged what we already knew and filled in some gaps.

One of his questions was, "Why do we tax?" Of course the most obvious answer is to raise revenue. He started to explain some of the ways that corporations can get around being taxed while politicans claim that everyone's tax rates remain the same. He said, "What does every person who has ever run for president say? I will NOT raise taxes." We all knew that one. Then he went on.

"No politician would ever get elected on a Raising Taxes platform. like 'Hey, I'm gonna fuck up your life!'" I laughed so hard. I don't know what it is, but when teachers curse in class, it makes me like them more. Maybe I'm just a heathen.

He tried to impress upon us that no matter what area of law we wished to practice, we would all benefit from our knowledge from the class. He used Family Law as an example: "What do they always tell you in Family Law? Everything is done for the benefit of... the children. Right?" He paused.

"Bullshit!" Oh?

"Everything is done so that she can bulldoze that $12 million house. And why can she do that? Because she got $150 million settlement! And anybody getting money like that is going to want it untaxed."

Some puzzled faces must have appeared around the room I guess, because he clarified, "Tiger's ex-wife!"

Cursing and topical humor... count me in. And yes, that was a lame attempt at a math-related joke. It's been a long day.

An Early Apology

Law school is challenging. It's different every day, and there's no way to predict if I'm going to have a good day or a bad day. At times it is challenging, frustrating, and thankless - but not all of the time.

I was intimidated at the prospect of going to grad school, but it seems that most of the teachers have a good sense of humor. Sometimes when people ask me if I like school, I think they have this preconceived notion that the teachers are all some variation on Ebeneezer Scrooge. Not so. While many of my teachers are older, gray-haired men, I have yet to find one that is bitter and angry.

The teachers definitely annoy me at times, but overall, I feel very lucky to have learned from them. They have a talent to turn some very dry & boring subject matter into a class that I actually enjoy. Don't get me wrong if I make fun of them here & there. Whatever they do to annoy me, they can usually make up for it with a snappy one-liner or a quirky anecdote.

So thank you to the teachers, and I apologize in advance.

-M