Wetlands Seminar

Oh I loathe this class. It's not even bad at all, it's just so slooooow.

There are only 6 kids in this class and we sit at tables arranged in a rectangle. If it was like a dining room table, 4 people would sit on one long side, 1 person would sit across at the other long side, my teacher would be at the head of the table, and I would be at the other head of the table. So I sit directly across from my professor.

He is usually standing and reading off of the projector and what not so it's not like he is watching me, really. But last week I was nodding off - the kind where your head actually starts nodding - and I was having the hardest time trying to wake up. That happened to me again this morning in my Tax class and it was almost a disaster. I am trying to cut back on caffeine so I didn't have any coffee today. That may have been a mistake.

Some more funny stuff my Tax teacher said:

Put a big X thru this page and write DFU. Don’t..... don’t use.

Who’s from Pittsburgh? (silence) I didn’t say FOR I said from.

Kodak management should be taken out and shot.

Did you ever see those jerky commercials? Sasquatch.. is a synonym for IRS. Don’t mess with IRS. Bigfoot.

Employers CANNOT make gifts to employees, but you can bribe your boss. M&Ms work.

More from Professor C

Just some quick quotes I jotted down from my Tax class last Thursday.

Things everyone lies about:

"Everybody lies about 2 things in their life. Well maybe more. But only 2 I can talk about in here. One of them if your golf handicap. 'I’m a 2 handicap.' You were a 2 at the 3^rd hole! Then you dislie at tournament time. 'I’m an 18!'"

Reminding us about a character in a story he's about to tell:

"Remember that guy I told you about who taught at MD who wrote on the smart board with the marker? That’s him. He doesn’t work there anymore."

Telling a story about how he demonstrating how a friend's financial decisions were losing him money:

"Come up with me to the men’s restroom. Now give me a dollar...I flushed it down the toilet."

His thoughts on tax deductions:

"Deductions are not good. Theyre better than a jab in the eye with a sharp stick but cmon."

Deductions for charitable donations & how they didn't save you as much money in the 80's so you better just be happy being charitable:

"You’ve gotta want the warm feeling. Well put a Sterno under you and warm it up a little more."

Bankruptcy:

"Back in 1981 when Reagan was president, Chrysler was going out of business. Wait, they’re still going out of business. Also, Twinkies are going bankrupt."

Federal Income Tax

That is one of the classes I chose to take this semester. Yes, chose. I needed a 3 credit course and that one fit my schedule.

I was really dreading this class, but after my first day I feel a little better about it. My professor (I'll call him Professor C for now) went over some basic ideas with us for most of the class. He gauged what we already knew and filled in some gaps.

One of his questions was, "Why do we tax?" Of course the most obvious answer is to raise revenue. He started to explain some of the ways that corporations can get around being taxed while politicans claim that everyone's tax rates remain the same. He said, "What does every person who has ever run for president say? I will NOT raise taxes." We all knew that one. Then he went on.

"No politician would ever get elected on a Raising Taxes platform. like 'Hey, I'm gonna fuck up your life!'" I laughed so hard. I don't know what it is, but when teachers curse in class, it makes me like them more. Maybe I'm just a heathen.

He tried to impress upon us that no matter what area of law we wished to practice, we would all benefit from our knowledge from the class. He used Family Law as an example: "What do they always tell you in Family Law? Everything is done for the benefit of... the children. Right?" He paused.

"Bullshit!" Oh?

"Everything is done so that she can bulldoze that $12 million house. And why can she do that? Because she got $150 million settlement! And anybody getting money like that is going to want it untaxed."

Some puzzled faces must have appeared around the room I guess, because he clarified, "Tiger's ex-wife!"

Cursing and topical humor... count me in. And yes, that was a lame attempt at a math-related joke. It's been a long day.

An Early Apology

Law school is challenging. It's different every day, and there's no way to predict if I'm going to have a good day or a bad day. At times it is challenging, frustrating, and thankless - but not all of the time.

I was intimidated at the prospect of going to grad school, but it seems that most of the teachers have a good sense of humor. Sometimes when people ask me if I like school, I think they have this preconceived notion that the teachers are all some variation on Ebeneezer Scrooge. Not so. While many of my teachers are older, gray-haired men, I have yet to find one that is bitter and angry.

The teachers definitely annoy me at times, but overall, I feel very lucky to have learned from them. They have a talent to turn some very dry & boring subject matter into a class that I actually enjoy. Don't get me wrong if I make fun of them here & there. Whatever they do to annoy me, they can usually make up for it with a snappy one-liner or a quirky anecdote.

So thank you to the teachers, and I apologize in advance.

-M