Just some quick quotes I jotted down from my Tax class last Thursday.
Things everyone lies about:
"Everybody lies about 2 things in their life. Well maybe more. But only 2 I can talk about in here. One of them if your golf handicap. 'I’m a 2 handicap.' You were a 2 at the 3rd hole! Then you dislie at tournament time. 'I’m an 18!'"
Reminding us about a character in a story he's about to tell:
"Remember that guy I told you about who taught at MD who wrote on the smart board with the marker? That’s him. He doesn’t work there anymore."
Telling a story about how he demonstrating how a friend's financial decisions were losing him money:
"Come up with me to the men’s restroom. Now give me a dollar...I flushed it down the toilet."
His thoughts on tax deductions:
"Deductions are not good. Theyre better than a jab in the eye with a sharp stick but cmon."
Deductions for charitable donations & how they didn't save you as much money in the 80's so you better just be happy being charitable:
"You’ve gotta want the warm feeling. Well put a Sterno under you and warm it up a little more."
Bankruptcy:
"Back in 1981 when Reagan was president, Chrysler was going out of business. Wait, they’re still going out of business. Also, Twinkies are going bankrupt."
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